I have been reading a book called The Insanity of God . This morning I was reading and this brought me to my knees. This is something that a Russian pastor said to the author of this book:

"Don't ever give up in freedom what we would never have given up in persecution!  That is our witness to the power of the resurrection fo Jesus Christ!"

That is such a powerful statement! And it is where God has been disciplining me.

The thing that has been burning inside me, awakened inside me, is how much I take for granted.

Before I started this book, one day I was listenting to a worship service online and the words to this song just slammed me, overwhelmed me, opened my eyes, opened my heart...

O the blood of Jesus washes me
O the blood of Jesus shed for me
What a sacrifice that saved my life
Yes, the blood it is my victory.

I realized in that moment that I have taken that for granted. Have I ever really thought about what Jesus did for me? There is so much I just accept as normal, Jesus died for me, God loves me, God will never leave me.... But what do those things really mean?

And now this book.  I have read books before about missionaries in persecuted nations, and people who have been tortured and imprisoned, but this book, at this time, where my heart is....I feel ashamed and think how can I not jump for joy every day! How can I go a day without sharing with someone about Jesus! How can I possibly go a day without sitting down and reading my Bible! Some people have no Bible, or are willing to go to prison to have a Bible, or to tell someone about Jesus. And what am I doing in my freedom? 

God has really been talking to me about this. I am wondering when I will finally get it! (God is probably thinking the same thing!)

About a month ago God had a correction for me one morning. I was getting ready for my day, and God said to me, "You have all these things you do to prepare for your day, but you are forgetting the most important. How much time did you spend with me this morning? How much time did you spend talking to me? How much time did you spend reading your Bible?"

He didn't have to ask me, God knew the answers, it was ZERO!

Now, what do I do with the fire that is burning inside me, the correction, the discipline, the eye opening revelation that I cannot live the way I have been living!  Today I am praying and asking God to show me.